I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
