So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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