i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he was CRYING into my vagina
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's official drugs can't kill me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
