She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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