My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
