VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
