Don't make out with my wife yet
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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