Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
