I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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