i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
