Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
