dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
