i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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