Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
