I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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