How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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