Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
