he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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