id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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