I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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