You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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