Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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