i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
