cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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