I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
