i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
