I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
