Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
