I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
