if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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