Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
