Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
