I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
