i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
