just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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