If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im six kinds of drunk right now
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
do herpes really smell.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
