Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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