i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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