whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cockslap morals
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
