Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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