It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
