wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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