: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
