C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
