i can't believe i had my finger in that
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
