Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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