Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
