The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
