Define "chronic" masturbator.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
