i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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