Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
