Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
