Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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