there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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