I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
